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Best Gemstones Associated With Dead, Grief And Remembrance!
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All About Gemstones

Gemstones associated with death

The Tradition of Mourning Jewelry

Mourning jewelry has been around for a super long time, like since the 1600s! When someone passed away, especially women, they had to wear black for like two to three years, wow, that’s like forever!

People started to wear jewelry to remember their loved ones. The trend really took off in the 1800s when Queen Victoria was super sad over losing her husband Albert.

This kind of jewelry wasn’t just necklaces or bracelets that looked sad. They had symbols like skeletons, which might seem a bit creepy, but it was their way of dealing with loss.

They would also put locks of hair from the person who died inside the jewelry, which is kind of sweet, right? Jet was this really popular black gemstone they used a lot because it was dark and kinda matched the mood.

Modern Gemstones and Grief Management

Nowadays, people still use gemstones when they are feeling super sad about losing someone, but it’s not as much about wearing black or putting hair in lockets. Instead, they choose gemstones that make them feel better, like they’re getting a warm hug from a friend.

These gems can help them feel more peaceful or give them a little strength when times are tough.

For example, folks might carry a smooth, shiny stone in their pocket and hold on to it whenever they feel like crying or are super missing someone.

Or they might wear a pretty piece of jewelry with a special gemstone that is uncut reminds them of good times with the person who’s gone. It’s a sweet way to keep their memories close every day.

Imagine gemstones are like best buddies that you can talk to, sit with, or just be near when you are super down. They don’t talk back, but it feels like they’re listening and giving off good vibes to help you through the rough patches.

A Guide to Choosing Comforting Gemstones

The Soothing Vibes of Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz is like the big, warm hug you need when your heart feels like it’s all broken. It’s this super pretty pink stone that looks like it’s been filled with love. It’s also called the “stone of love,” so you can guess it’s all about making you feel loved and calm.

When you’re missing someone you loved a ton, Rose Quartz is like that friend who sits with you, doesn’t rush you, and just helps you breathe and be kind to yourself. It makes you feel less alone because it’s packed with gentle, loving vibes that fill you up with warmth and compassion.

Best for: People who are having a super rough time after losing a loved one and need something kind and cuddly to help them cope.

Top 5 Features of Rose Quartz:

  1. Soothing pink color, like a cotton candy cloud.
  2. Known as the “stone of love,” which is always nice.
  3. Helps open up the heart chakra for all kinds of love.
  4. Encourages self-love, coz that’s super important!
  5. Gentle energy to help you chill and let go of sad feelings.

Five Benefits:

  1. Gives a big boost to feelings of peace and calm.
  2. Kindly nudges you to forgive and love yourself.
  3. Helps you let go of icky feelings like guilt and blame.
  4. Encourages you to accept love from others, not just yourself.
  5. Keeps memories of happy times with your loved one in your heart.

Two Cons:

  1. It’s super gentle, so if you need tough love, it might be too soft.
  2. Sometimes the energy can feel too subtle if you’re really, really sad.

If you’re the kind of person who needs a gentle touch and some self-love, Rose Quartz might be a super sweet friend for your heart to lean on.

Onyx: A Guardian in Times of Sorrow

Onyx is like the strong, silent type that stands guard when you’re feeling all sorts of sad. Think of it as your personal superhero that scares away bad dreams and all those fears, especially when you can’t stop thinking about someone you lost.

It’s like having a bodyguard that watches over you, keeping you safe from things that go bump in the night.

When people felt really scared about stuff like dying or had nightmares, they’d rock some black onyx. It was like their shield. And for those who feel super anxious or can’t sleep, holding or wearing onyx is like having a strong friend to tell you, “I got your back!”

Best for: Someone who’s super scared or feels like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. If you need to feel protected and strong, onyx is like your rock.

Top 5 Features of Onyx:

  1. Sleek black color screams strong and classy.
  2. Acts like a superhero against negative vibes.
  3. Traditionally worn to chase away fears.
  4. Helps calm down the mind, awesome for sleep.
  5. Super durable—tough enough to handle your worries.

Five Benefits:

  1. Like a security blanket against bad energy.
  2. Gives your courage a big ol’ boost.
  3. Turns down the volume on stress and anxiety.
  4. Helps you snooze better, which is always a win.
  5. Supports inner strength and helps you get disciplined.

Two Cons:

  1. It’s got really intense vibes, which might be too much for some.
  2. Not everyone digs the all-black look—it’s not as shiny as some other stones.

If you’re dealing with some heavy stuff and need a gemstone that’s got your back, onyx is like your personal guardian angel in crystal form.

Gemstones and Crystals with Symbolic Meanings for Loss and Grief

Amethyst: The Soulstone of Support

The Amethyst Crystal is really special. People call it the “stone of the soul,” which is pretty neat. It’s like having a wise old friend who knows just what to say when you’ve got a tummy full of butterflies or a mind full of worries.

If you are super sad and can’t stop thinking about someone you miss a lot, amethyst is there to give you a cosmic hug and help you let go of that heavy feeling in your heart.

It’s awesome because not only does it help you chill out, but it also makes sure you have sweet dreams and not scary ones.

And because it’s linked to the crown chakra, which is all about that mysterious spirit-stuff, it can help you feel like you’re still connected with the person you miss, in a peaceful, deep-in-your-soul kind of way.

Best for: Peeps who need to take the edge off their sadness and find a bit of peace during a really hard time.

Top 5 Features of Amethyst:

  1. Gorgeous purple color that’s soothing to look at.
  2. Known for mega soothing and calming vibes.
  3. Handy for when you’re trying to catch some Z’s without nightmares.
  4. Helps open up the crown chakra for spiritual chill-outs.
  5. Encourages emotional healing and lets you let go of the sadness.

Five Benefits:

  1. Kicks fears and worries out the door so healing can start.
  2. Promotes a sense of calm and makes you feel more stable.
  3. Awakens your spiritual side, which can be comforting.
  4. Acts like a soft purple blanket for your emotions.
  5. Helps you sort through your feels and find clarity.

Two Cons:

  1. It might be too gentle if you’re looking for a big energy shift.
  2. Because it’s so calming, it might not be the right vibe if you need a pep-up.

If you or someone you know is going through the ringer and needs a gentle, spiritual buddy, amethyst could be just the gemstone to turn to.

Lapis Lazuli: Ancient Stone of Protection

Lapis Lazuli is like a drop of the deep blue sky, captured just for you. It’s been famous for, like, ever because it’s super pretty, and everyone from Egyptian pharaohs to modern-day people think it’s awesome.

Also, it’s not just any regular stone; it’s a symbol of protection, truth, and wisdom. All that cool stuff in a dazzling blue rock!

When you’re suffering from a big, gaping hole in your heart ’cause of losing someone, Lapis Lazuli acts like an ancient guardian.

It’s said to protect your feelings and thoughts, making it easier to speak your truth and feel more like yourself again. Plus, it’s all about wisdom, so it’s like having a clever friend who helps you understand your sadness and get through it.

Best for: Anyone who feels lost and needs a bit of ancient wisdom and protection to feel brave and speak their heart.

Top 5 Features of Lapis Lazuli:

  1. Super cool royal blue color with twinkly gold flecks.
  2. Used by ancient big shots like pharaohs and kings.
  3. Helps open the throat chakra for all that heart-to-heart talk.
  4. Packed with good energy for learning and understanding deep stuff.
  5. Symbolizes truth, so it’s like a personal honesty meter.

Five Benefits:

  1. Makes you feel like someone’s got your back.
  2. Guides you to be honest about your grief.
  3. Helps you get all wise about your feelings.
  4. You get a sense of peace thinking better thoughts.
  5. Lets you connect with your lost loved one on a spiritual level.

Two Cons:

  1. It’s a bit pricey ’cause it’s so special.
  2. Might make you a little too introspective if you’re down in the dumps.

For someone who’s got a lot on their chest and wants a gem that’s like a wisdom-filled bodyguard, Lapis Lazuli could be your solid rock.

Integrating Gemstones into Grieving Rituals

Creating a Personalized Remembrance Piece

Creating a personalized remembrance piece is a really cool way to keep the memory of someone you miss a lot alive and close to you. It could be a necklace, a bracelet, or even a keychain that has a special gemstone, which feels like carrying a bit of that person’s spirit with you.

Here’s how you can make it:

  1. Pick a gemstone that reminds you of them, like their favorite color or birthstone.
  2. Think of a shape or design that means something special to both of you.
  3. Decide if you want to add anything else, like their initials or a date that’s important.
  4. Work with a cool artist or designer who can help make your vision real.
  5. When it’s all done, wear it or keep it somewhere you can see it every day.

Having this piece is like having a part of them with you. You can hold it when you feel sad, look at it and smile, or just feel comforted that you have a little piece of love from them whenever you need it.

Daily Practices for Consolation and Strength

Daily practices for consolation and strength are like mini-missions you do for yourself to help you get through each day without feeling totally lost. Here’s a couple of easy things you can try:

  1. Morning Gemstone Meditation: Start your day by holding your chosen gemstone, like Rose Quartz for love, and take a few deep breaths. Imagine breathing in comfort and breathing out the sadness.
  2. Gemstone-Carrying: Keep a small stone, like Amethyst, in your pocket. Whenever the day gets tough, just grab it and remember to stay cool and collected.
  3. Bedtime Gratitude with Gemstones: Before you snooze, thank your gemstone (like the protective Onyx) for being there for you. Even if today was rough, this can help you find at least one small happy thing.
  4. Crystal-Infused Water: Some stones, like Clear Quartz, are safe to put in your water. Sip this gem-water throughout the day to feel the stone’s good vibes from the inside out.
  5. Gemstone Writing: If you’ve got a lot on your mind, write it down and keep a gemstone, like Lapis Lazuli, nearby. They say it might help you understand your feelings better.

Doing these small, simple things can make a huge difference. They can make you feel a little less alone, a little more loved, and a whole lot stronger – like having an invisible friend always there to help you cope.


In the end, when you’re swimming through an ocean of feelings because of losing someone super important, remember that gemstones could be like life-jackets. They don’t have the magic to sweep away all the bad stuff, but they sure can make the waves easier to handle.

Each of these stones we talked about, like the cozy Rose Quartz or the bold Onyx, they’re here to give you different kinds of cuddles and high-fives for your heart. Whether you wear them, hold them, or just sit and stare at them, these rocks can be steady buds on your journey through grief.

So, go ahead and pick the gemstone that makes your heart do a little dance, or just feels right. And keep doing little things every day that make you feel stronger. Remember, it’s totally okay to seek help from friends, family, or even a sparkling stone when the going gets tough.

And who knows? With every sunrise, a gemstone could be that tiny bit of sparkle that reminds you that you’re not alone and that healing, piece by piece, is possible, even when it feels super hard.

Kind regards,

Edwin van Vliet

Picture of Edwin van Vliet

Edwin van Vliet

Edwin van Vliet is a seasoned life coach with an unwavering passion for the transformative potential of crystals and gemstones in healing. At 43 years old, and with his 16 years of experience, Edwin's journey to becoming a life coach was marked by his own personal healing experiences. Through extensive therapy and the supportive energy of crystals, he not only discovered his true potential but also found a deep passion for guiding others on their paths to self-discovery.

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